SEX on Your Cycle…
There are many layers that are involved in how we show up for pleasure and sex! Since we are designed to cycle, it shouldn’t be a surprise that SEX doesn’t always feel the same throughout the month! There are shifts in our brain chemistry, physical changes happening, definitely hormonal fluctuations… there is just a lot going on! Desire and what we like and don’t like changes based on all of these different layers. But… when you can sync up your intimacy with the different phases of your cycle, say hello to a whole new and improved sex-life!
So we are going to be touching on these different layers when it comes to intimacy throughout each of these cycle phases. And as we go through each phase, I am going to be sharing what essential oils I use to support these changes and help enhance the desire and passion for sex! Essential oils are POWERFUL when it comes to cycle syncing in general, and when syncing you sex life with your cycles while enhancing the sync with oils… DAMN!! Talk about great sex!
I did want to mention that if you are someone who doesn’t cycle (post-menopausal, on hormonal birth control, etc.), you can still utilize all of the information and advice I am about to share with you. Just because physically you may not be cycling, energetically you most definitely are! We highly recommend mimicking a true cycle so that your body can feel the energy of it as if was really there. This will result in more balance of feminine energy in many different aspects of your life.
Alright… let’s get into the fun stuff!
Menstrual Phase
Even though most of us know this… The menstrual phase begins the first day you bleed and ends on the last day of your bleed. It is the beginning of a new cycle! Hormones are not driving desire in this phase. They are at their lowest point. But some women feel horny during this phase and there are a few different reasons for this. But the menstrual phase is ALL about physical sensations and what I mean by that is…
Uterus increases in volume before you bleed (ever notice some some extra lower belly pooch around this time?) and puts a heaviness or pressure on your pelvic floor which can feel pleasurable. It’s also putting some pressure on your g-spot and clitoral legs. So that physical sensation from the actual pressure of your uterus expanded is what is driving the desire.
Because some women struggle with enough lubrication, the extra “wetness” from the bleed can actually stimulate desire. Our bodies naturally associate wetness with fertility due to our ovulation phase, but for those who don’t ovulate, this physical sensation of feeling more “wet” can put us in the mood! However, your period blood really shouldn’t be used as lubricant considering blood dries faster. So if you’re feelin’ frisky during this phase, make sure you are choosing to use some clean lube.
If you don’t feel horny during this time of your cycle, that’s not unusual. To some people, period sex is dirty which turns off any feelings of desire. Some are maybe struggling with PMS and pain. Now… we do want to mention that pain during your period, although common, is not normal. It’s actually a sign of imbalance and your body is asking for support! There could be some root causes here at play driving these symptoms along with a lot of other different factors. Working on balancing your hormones and removing those root causes will allow you to have a pain-fee period. SAY WHAT?! We could talk all day about that but we can save that for another blog post. However, if you are someone who currently experiences pain during your period, many are surprised that pleasure, whether self pleasure or sex with your partner, can actually provide pain relief. Having an orgasm or stimulation around your lady parts can relax the fascia that holds the uterus. On top of that, an orgasm will release oxytocin (the bonding or love hormone) which is a natural pain reliever because it will flush out cortisol (your stress hormone) which is often a driver of menstrual discomfort. So there are many reasons TO have sex during your period, but everyone is bio-individual and sometimes sex is just a big fat NO. That’s totally okay!
The last thing I want to note about this phase is that it is an extremely intuitive time. This phase should really feel like honoring and tuning in with your body. So whether you’re team period sex or not, we encourage you to give your body the space to go within. Learn about yourself. Heal from wounds. Speak to your inner child. And for some, this look like sex. Others, this looks like self pleasure. Maybe it’s tantric sex or orgasmic breathing. Maybe it’s simply meditation or gentle breathwork or hypnotherapy or journalling. Maybe this looks like a ton of time with yourself doing all the self care things like soaking in the tub with your affirmations playing. However you can allow your body the time and space to go within, do it during this phase!
Essential oils to support the menstrual phase:
With that being said, one of the oils I like to use during this phase is In-Tune. This blend really allows your mind and body to really get into the space needed to go within. This oil is amazing if meditating is a bit challenging for you. Rub it on pulse points and/or neck so that it’s close enough to smell.
Another oil I love to use during this phase is the monthly blend, ClaryCalm. This blend is specifically formulated for women to use during their entire cycle. When used during this phase, it provides a very nurturing and comforting effect so that you can really provide your body a sense of peace during your period. I use this directly over my uterus and ovaries.
Follicular Phase
This is the second phase of your cycles and it begins when you stop bleeding and lasts until you ovulate.
This phase is all about your brain chemistry. Your hormones are still low but on the rise so they really aren’t at play quite yet until the end of this phase when your hormones really begin to ramp up for ovulation. So your brain is the driver here! Your brain LOVES anything different or exciting during this phase. This is the time for innovation! Bring in some novelty to the bedroom. Any new experiences are going to excite you and drive more desire. So when it comes to sex, this can look like maybe a new toy, a new position, role play, tantric sex, orgasmic breathing, or maybe even exploring some fantasies or kinks! Whatever it is that feels exciting to you, this is the time to incorporate it in the bedroom! If you have have parter that is a little more adventurous or kinky than you and it has been hard for you to get behind those new desires and experiences that they have been wanting to try… this is the best time to maybe consider exploring that with them! Obviously stick to your boundaries, but maybe step a little outside of your normal routine during this phase. Get innovative!
Also, intimacy begins outside of the bedroom. So maybe these new experiences are more like trying a new place to eat out for a date. Or maybe you ask your partner to surprise you with a fun date. Maybe you sign up for a cooking class or a dance lesson or play a game of some sort. Doing something different with your partner, or on your own for that matter, stimulates your brain which is what will drive your desire and pleasure and ultimately lead to better sex during this phase.
Now, back to the sex… The last thing I wanted to mention about this phase is encouraging you try edging in this phase. “Edging” is simply the act of intentionally delaying an orgasm to make sexual activity last longer. So basically stimulating until just before climax and then stopping stimulation to calm down before starting back up again. This process gets repeated as many times as you can handle until you are literally BEGGING to orgasm. The benefit and result of hanging out in this plateau stage is very strong, intense, and incredible orgasms! You’re welcome…
Essential oil to support the follicular phase:
With that being said, considering we are encouraging the build up or RISE of pleasure through innovation and novelty along with the fact our hormones starting to RISE… I love to support this phase with one of doTERRA’s yoga blends called ARISE. The energy of this oil promotes that rise and build up. It’s the enlightening blend so it has a very exciting and uplifting aroma. Diffuse it during times of intimacy or wear it topically as a perfume.
Ovulatory Phase
Woohoo!! Probably everyones favorite phase of their cycle. This is when we feel most alive and frisky!! It’s time to PLAY! Even though ovulation is really only one day out of our entire cycle, the energy of this phase can last about 5-6 days. Our hormones are at their peak so they are what is driving passion and desire during this phase! Our body begins to produce its natural lubrication, pheromones are released to attract our partners, we become more confident, we experience some physical changes that are designed to make us look more attractive… All of this is happening to promote our natural ability to produce life! This is when we are most fertile. So an important thing to note with this phase is your ability to get pregnant. If that is something you’re working towards, this is the perfect phase to get-it-on… and if you are not trying to have a baby anytime soon, this is the phase to utilize some sort of protection like condoms.
Regardless though… THIS is our most SEXY time! Since hormones are RAGING during this phase, another fun thing to note is that this phase it is easier to have multiple orgasms! Some women may quickly return to the orgasm stage and have multiple orgasms with further sexual stimulation. How lovely!! Who doesn't want more orgasms?!
Overall, this is a time to celebrate our LIFE giving abilities! Women are POWERFUL beings. Honoring our super powers during this phase is really what it’s all about! Playing around in the bedroom
Essential oils to support the ovulation phase:
With honoring our life giving abilities, I loooove to diffuse Wild Orange oil during this phase. Wild Orange is the “oil of abundance” and when we think of fertility, we should think of abundance! This oil promotes FUN and PLAY which is why I love to use this in the bedroom during intimacy. Use this oil to harmonize life, abundance, and just a downright good time!
The other two oils I like to use is Whisper and Passion. Both of these oils when used topically actually change with your body’s chemistry and can be used a lot like pheromones to attract our partners!! So when using these oils on the inner thighs and around the neck… It may be hard to keep you partner off of you! Again, you’re welcome!
Luteal Phase
This phase happens after ovulation and lasts until the first day of your period. This is typically the longest phase for most women and the phase can actually be broken down into two parts since there is a lot going on hormonally.
Part 1 - You're still riding out the ovulation phase so all the things we just touched on in the ovulation phase can still apply during the first half of this phase. However, if pregnancy is something you are concerned about in the ovulation phase, this isn’t a concern in the first half of this phase. This is my personal favorite part of my cycle. Even though it only lasts about a week, I love to take FULL ADVANTAGE of this part 1 in this phase since we aren’t quite ready for babies just yet.
Part 2 - As hormones start to drop, this is when hormones are less of the driver of desire and AMBIANCE is the name of the game. The second half of this phase can feel a bit chaotic as your body prepares for menstruation. Spending some in a bath with your partner with non-toxic candles lit, or laying rose petals on the bed, diffusing some aphrodisiac oils with the lights dim, or just doing all the cute romantic things is really going to help keep that spark of passion and desire lit through the remainder of your cycle.
Essential oil to support the luteal phase:
I love to use Balance oil during this phase. Since hormones are shifting, PMS may be present, emotions can be all over the place… this time of the month for some women can really feel like a rollercoaster. Testosterone can be high too which is more of a masculine hormone and we really need to be focusing on getting back into our feminine during this phase. So I love utilizing Balance because its a tree oil. It grounds you back into your roots as a woman and just overall brings more balance to your life when it feels a little out of control. Diffuse throughout this phase or have your partner use it with a carrier oil for a romantic massage that honors your luteal phase.
How do I order these oils?
First of all, we LOVE oils. We use them in protocols all the time to help alleviate emotional and physical symptoms with our clients. We have found them to be such a powerful tool when cycle syncing so we wanted to make sure we shared them with you in this blog! We only use doTERRA because they are the highest quality, ethically sourced, and the only company with full transparency and 3rd party testing. The quality of supplements (oils included) we recommend to our clients really matters to us and doTERRA meets our high standards.
Now, how do you order this “Sex on your Cycle Collection”? Lucky for you, I made a super easy code and already added them to a cart for you so you can grab them all at the click of a button. You will also see that a wholesale membership is added to the cart as well. I figured I would set you up to save a little money and provide you access to wholesale prices all year long! A wholesale customer within doTERRA is sort of like a Costco membership… you pay a fee once, you get the discounts for the whole year. doTERRA works the same way except there is a way around the fee! With this collection being over a certain dollar amount, the membership is free! So you get a free wholesale year membership AND wholesale prices on this entire collection immediately. WIN WIN!! Click “Order Here” and it will take you to check out!
The conclusion…
As women, is so important to connect with our feline energy though all areas of cycle syncing. Movement, nutrition, mindset, sex, etc. are all areas to consider with cycle syncing. So hopefully you guys have a little bit of a better idea on how you can sync your sex life with your cycle. Doing this can really lead to better sex since you are honoring your feminine energy by listening to what it wants and needs rather than what it doesn't want or need. Stop forcing, start listening! Your body will thank you! We hope that you found this blog informative and fun and you gained some ideas on how to up-level your sex life. Happy Valentine’s Day!
** All of this information provided in this blog post came from personal research and experiences along with education from Stefanie Alder’s Wisdom of the Womb Podcast: “The Key to Having Better Sex and Orgasms (All based on your Cycle!) Part 1...” Check out her Instagram and podcast for more education around sexual health. **
